Goes Down in the DM…FOR REAL!

So it’s my DM-adversary with my boyfriend this week! I should known something was up with this snow because that was literally how it went down last year too! A big ol’ pile of snow to keep us tied to the house with cabin fever… chatting it up in each other’s inbox. Eventually, I gave him my number and insisted that he “call me sometime” and soon we were engaged in hours of conversation that I honestly didn’t want to end.

But it’s funny how we connected (rather re-connected) through a string of messages in  response to a post that I shared simply giving permission for anyone to DM something they have wanted to tell me.

The response was a simple blue heart which meant, “I want to ask you out.” My response, was a quick, “Well, if you ask the answer is ‘Yes!'”

And when I hit that send button, I wasn’t thinking, “Oh shit…what did I do?” or “Am I being too forward?” NOPE! I was thinking, “If this negro doesn’t ask me out this time, that’s it! No more second chances.” Continue reading Goes Down in the DM…FOR REAL!

It’s not him…it’s YOU!

Over the last few weeks, I have been buried in developing and facilitating seminars and coaching programs to empower women in their personal, family, and relationship goals. And while it’s no excuse to leave you hanging, just know that I’m back with a purpose!

And that purpose brings me RIGHT here! To drop a nice clue bomb on the matter of dating a person who is NOT dating you. Yes, I said that correctly. I am going to share a little bit about how you may find yourself in a relationship BY YOURSELF.

Interestingly enough, there are many women out there who maintain months and sometimes years of situationships that do not lead to actual relationships. And before you quickly point the finger at the guy you were dating to say, “He did me wrong!” or “How could he do this to me?” to even “He’s such as an asshole…jerk…f*ckboy”…or insert whatever adjective to describe him, pick up a mirror because the problem in the whole situation was probably YOU!

Harsh much? Maybe. Continue reading It’s not him…it’s YOU!

8 Date Night Ideas to Promote Stronger Connections

Ahh….Dating! While some can cringe at the idea of having to open up to someone or expose their vulnerabilities and fears of “putting yourself out there,” dating gives us a way to build greater connection and emotional (and physical) intimacy with another person.

Of course one of the challenges is choosing a place to go. UnDENYably, I am an “I dunno” or “It doesn’t matter” kinda woman. That means, I am generally open to anything so long as it brings me closer to a person. This drives a guy ABSOLUTELY crazy because he just wants me to choose a place.  Sometimes I struggle because I love more creative and exotic things, but I don’t want to seem like I’m “high maintenance.” Continue reading 8 Date Night Ideas to Promote Stronger Connections

What to Get Him for Valentine’s Day

Valentine’s Day is fast approaching, and for those of us who are dating and boo’d up, we know that it means celebrating this #1 Hallmark Holiday! While Valentine’s Day is notoriously celebrated as a “women’s holiday” to mark how much she is loved and admired, we cannot forget that our men need to be shown love too! So this week, Mancode Monday is devoted to helping you plan and consider some great gift ideas for him.

Without a doubt, men have it easy when it comes to shopping for their paramour and significant other. After all, Wal-mart, Hallmark, and every other retail store known to mankind is flocked full of cute stuffed animals, chocolates, and even cutesy little sleepwear that a man can find ANYWHERE with somewhat little effort. However, ladies….we know that i’s not as simple shopping for the men in our lives. After all, not many of them will be too thrilled at the idea of a stuffed frog.  Plus, with the Christmas holiday recently ending, I am quite sure that we have used up our great gift ideas and may be a little stunted on how to celebrate your love for him.

And for the record ladies buying a sexy set from Victoria Secret’s is a gift to yourself not to him.  While we know that it will be sexy and hot, the reality is he is already thinking of how you’re going to wear that for some other dude if you break up. It will certainly be a highlight to your night, but make sure you don’t preface it as you “I bought this for you” unless he desires to wear it and is into that sort of thing. Hey…no judgment if that’s your bedroom behavior.

Now…..in consulting with my “mancode” team, which by the way consists of a number of men who are married, dating, and happily playing the field (yup…the playboy) and range in age from their early 30s-to-early 40s, I asked them to share with me their gift ideas for Valentine’s Day. Let me begin by saying, that most men noted that they are not “fans” of February 14th.  And not because it’s not “their day” but because they feel they can show their love for their women more frequently then just this “one day.” (Slow clap to the men who make us feel special and appreciated and excites all of our lady parts!).  Keep in mind, that these are merely suggestions as every man is different and does not have the exact same taste as others. But, relatively speaking, most men would find great value in a few of these ideas.

5 Valentine’s Day Gift Ideas for Him

valentines-day-gifts-for-him

  1. Dinner. Believe it or not, a man just wants you to pick up the tab. Or better yet, to actually CHOOSE a place to eat without our typical “I dunno” or “I don’t care” when he asks. So for Valentine’s Day, do the unexpected and offer to take HIM out for dinner AFTER Valentine’s Day. Or, if you don’t want to pick up the check on this day, create  special gift certificate that he can redeem for dinner out on your next date night.
  2. Goodies Basket. Men love to know that you pay attention to their needs. Don’t you remember when Juno put all the tictacs in Paulie Bleeker’s mailbox? Yeah, guys actually like that you know his favorite things. It shows you pay attention to his snacks and treats. So grab a nice little basket and stuff it with his favorite goodies to let him know just how sweet he is!
  3. Hobby-related accessories. Is your man into motorcyles? How about purchasing him some new riding gloves or a new helmet or jacket.  Is he into gadgets or a techy? Check out some places like the Hobby Lobby for some cool new drones.
  4. Weekend Trip. Of course men are not expecting you to board a plan to Fiji or book a cruise to Jamaica, but a nice weekend hiking, fishing, or even to an upcoming basketball game is WINNER!
  5. Sex! And lots of it. This is no surprise. They are horndogs! Whether it’s oral sex or just a spontaneous quickie in the car, men just want it! And for Valentine’s Day they just want it to he EXTRA! So sext him. Stop by his job or meeting him at home for LUNCH!

Hopefully, this gives women some insights into what to get him for Valentine’s Day. Of course, as stated, this is not reflective of ALL men. If you have other great gift ideas, drop them below!

💜