Single…or nah?

I am a little guilty. I am that friend that seems to go M.I.A. when I am boo’d up! I’m sorry. But I do. So it should be no surprise, that I have gone M.I.A. because “boo” has my time. But…I promise, I am still just as committed to you too!

So what have I have been doing in the past few weeks, and who is the “boo” who has stolen my time and attention…?

well….sorry to disappoint you, but BOO… it’s not just a guy!

Building my empire has kept me QUITE busy these days. Do you realize how freaking time consuming it is to do social media posts to Instagram and Facebook, manage two blogs, content development and website management, keep an email marketing list, plus manage my consulting clients for training and speaking engagements and respond to emails and questions from coaching clients? And this women’s retreat that I am planning, workbooks, e-coaching programs, PLUS I just moved into a new office and I have yet to unpack or settle in…..

YIKESSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!

Let’s not even add in the fact that I am A BUSY co-parenting Mom with all the primary responsibilities and daily duties (BASICALLY… #singlemom).

So that means my hips have been running behind my 6 year old building Legos and playing Ninja Turtles or Avengers (complete with costumes of course), tending to homework 3 nights a week, participating in PTA meetings or functions and completing my officer responsibilities as the Secretary (and boy is our PTA busy with great family engagement and involvement), AND getting it in on the field as Team Mom of my son’s flag football team (Go Chiefs!).

All I can say about that relationship is that I’m ready to pull my hair out, and my lil natural teeny weeny afro needs to grow!

Hell, I am lucky to see a shower daily, sleep for 6.5hrs a day, and make it to my Zumba classes and the gym! Yay…GO ME! Because these 15 extra pounds look great in some areas, but not in my midsection.

And the Mr. ….because that’s what you really wanna know, right? So where does he fit in? Believe it or not, we literally schedule our time together. Like seriously, pencil you in  kind of thing. BeSingle or Nahtween all of my “building my empire” as Super Mom, and him running things in his career, AND us living 2 hours apart…. we have to schedule our time.

And guess what…I marvel and relish in the time that we get to spend together. ALONE! And that means I completely unplug. No emails. No work. Just the two of us.

Which is how it should be and how I LIKE it!

To be honest, if we had lived closer to each other, this thing that we are building would pretty much be non-existent. 

Truth is, distance and our busy-ness has been great because it has allowed us the time to get to know each other. We talk about our dreams and aspirations, things that happen in the day, our plans for the week, and the conversations seem endless.  Did I mention I am a sapiosexual? Conversations and intellect will get you VERY far with me.

Hey….

…get your mind…

….out of the gutter.

So… SINGLE…? Undenyably…YES! Because just like building my empire, building a relationship is about investing time, effort, and you into what you desire.

AND…THAT…TAKES…PATIENCE.

I didn’t just jump into my business and say, “let’s do it.” NO! I pitched around some ideas and drafted up some supporting details. I made a business plan and found that some things didn’t work and needed tweaking. I launched my services, and I continue to make adjustments that tailor to my IDEAL market.?

You have to put that same effort into a new relationship.

  • You have to pitch around the idea and consider some supporting details. Am I ready to date? Am I okay with being rejected? Do I know where to even look for potential dating partners? Should I start with online or blind dating first?Single and Happy - Sex and the City
  • You have to make a plan. Are we dating exclusively? Are we going to be intimate before monogamy? Do I have a sitter when I need that alone time? —> very important single mamas!
  • You have to launch and adjust. Where is the relationship going? Can I let go of the control and let things develop naturally? Can I let go of a relationship that is not promising despite how much I like the person? Are moving too fast?

Biggest and most parallel to building my empire and building a relationship is the fact that you have to JUMP! Let go of fear and talking yourself out of it, and JUST put yourself out there.

Yeah, businesses can fail or you may have to step back with some things because you get too ambitious. But SO WHAT?! You learn from the mistakes and mishaps. Just like when you got all excited about “him” and post pictures and then tell your girlfriends only to realize he is a nevermind….and guess what? YOU TRY AGAIN!

Learn and grow! With that…. I will keep learning and growing. And building.

Look forward to the things coming soon. Because just as I am growing in my business, so is my reach to you. You can expect more from my dating experiences (past and present). I will also be featuring guest bloggers, really good tips, PLUS some things for my single moms who are dating.

So drop me a line or two if you if you’re still with me and share what you been up to! Don’t forget to share with your friends and follow me on IG: @bfecoach!

~xoxo~

 

Checking ME Out!

Well….it’s Saturday! Finally!!!!! I have been on the run all week between multiple PTA functions for my son’s school, facilitating a staff training for an agency, meeting with clients, and OF COURSE wearing my important hat fulfilling Mommy duties. And, I even managed to make it to the gym twice this week. Now, singulars I like my cute gym clothes, aka my fitted shirts and booty hugging leggings. Well, apparently someone else did too because I received some nice compliments from men AND women!

I can admit it made me feel good. And I took the compliments with appreciation and worked harder to “prove” how committed I was to my workout. Truth being told I WAS STRUGGLING thru it! Hell, I felt like my butt was about to topple me over on the treadmill, and my chest was pounding! My ass ain’t been in a gym consistently in 3 months. And the two days weekly just started last week.

When I finished my workout, I checked myself out in the mirror, and I saw a whole different reflection. I saw the 10lbs I gained since October, the bags under my eyes, and the shaky legs and trembling hands, and I could feel the weary heart working so hard to recuperate. Like I said….I have been struggling and “I’se ti’de boss!!!”

Since going full-time in my business, I have been focused on building and expanding. I have been taking on new clients and consulting, plus I still have to be full-time at home and fulfill my community duties. And rightfully so….my life is reflecting my need to rest, relax, and seek relief!

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Today, I curled up on my couch with my son, turned on two Disney movies, and slept thru a beautiful sunny day after my son insisted I take a nap because I was cranky and irritable. Against all of my desires to get up and clean up, I tried to “relax.” And… I did. That near 3 hr nap was lovely.

I am also trying to find my second wind and get back in my element. To return to my regular exercise and get back on my regular eating schedule. And sleep….I need to get in bed and ACTUALLY rest for more than 4 hours a night.  But damnit, it’s hard! Especially when trying to balance it ALL! And to be perfectly transparent, I am tense and stressed…but not stressed out.

According to the Child Development Institute, chronic tension can cause sleep disturbance, increased or decreased appetite, headaches, stomach aches, poor concentration or irritability, and our immune system can be weakened thus, making us more susceptible to colds and other infections.

Fortunately, I am not there…. but I recognize that if I don’t make any changes to my GO-GO-GO mindset and slow down a tab, I can be. The truth is, I have to place some limitations. I have to check ME out…regularly.

So next week, after I am rested and recharged, I am committing to hitting my workout flow 3x a week. To increase my  water intake, and eat MORE balanced meals. And to carry my hips to bed before 2am! Don’t judge…thats a big step for me! Who knows….maybe I will be able to FINALLY run that 8k this summer!

Have you been checking YOU out? Do you see your body wearing down, and if so, what are you doing about it?

~M