“And suddenly you know…it’s time to start something new and trust the magic of beginnings.”
Well hello 2018! And hello to you again! I really have to stop treating you like this. It feels too much like one of my past relationships….
….On again-Off again…
…..Show up when I want some attention.
…..MY BAD. I’m Sorry.
But I have missed writing and sharing with you (and other bloggers).
Hate to say that it has been really busy… (<—again like what was said in my past relationships)… but it has been really busy. Hell, my busy-ness is one of the reasons why I stayed in the singles lane for a bit. But for real… I have been working my socks off over here in Virginia and now that I have had some time to rest my big head, I am looking forward to some magical beginnings in 2018!
So how did you usher in the new year? Were you boo’d up, boozed up, givin’ it up, or fed up?
Me…I welcomed my new year the way I started it…. alone on the couch watching Hallmark Christmas Movies. I added a box of tissues and a bottle of OJ this time around. Why…? Because I was sick and exhausted. My boyfriend…
…YES THERE IS STILL A BAE…
…was on the phone with me as we counted down the final seconds of 2017. After that I was out faster than the BC Powder I got the next morning.
But the feeling of welcoming 2018 was far more different than last year. Why? Because rolling into 2018 I have come full circle with celebrating my life as it’s happening… anew.
There is a reason that my tagline in my coaching and consulting practice is trust the magic of beginnings. It’s because there is some genuine happiness and truth in starting something and watching what unfolds as a result.
And that’s what I did here when I launched unDENYably SINgle.
I started writing because I really wanted to create a platform for sharing with my followers, my own experiences as a highly successful and single woman. To face each day thinking “Damn… where is HE?” And if I can be perfectly honest, to even thinking, “What’s wrong with me?” as if it is something about YOU (and me) that have left a beautiful woman unmarried. Especially, when she is the cat’s meow.
I jokingly told my now boyfriend during our early months of dating that he was “interfering with my being single.” Seriously, he gave me the biggest case of writer’s block because I was finding myself slowly slipping into a relationship. A relationship that I have wanted, yearned, and prayed for to be honest.
And it is such a welcoming blessing to have him. But I know that I would not have made it in this relationship without “my beginnings.”
So here is the truth ladies (and gentlemen) about my beginnings. I didn’t trust myself enough to have a relationship. I was scared shitless of what may happen if I let myself be loved or to try something new. There were times that I thought to myself…am I ready to try this shit again? To put the cards on the table? To open myself up? To let someone enter my life? Better yet, to enter my son’s life. I mean…I wasn’t just a single woman, I was a single mom!
So I admit I hid behind some truths (and a lie) for a little bit. The truth, I was single. And I was becoming more accepting and open to my singleness. The lie was in me psyching myself out that my career, or my focus on my son, or it wasn’t the right time…were the reasons why I chose to be single. The truth is…
I was trying to figure out why I wanted a relationship when I wasn’t sure if I was ready to begin one.
And that was my AHA Moment. About 6-7 months prior to the turn of 2017 I realized that when it came to relationships, I never trusted the magic of BEGINNINGS.
The beginnings… the point in time for which something starts. The early stage. It’s the introductory period or as we call it the “getting to know you” stage.
- I rushed the introductory phase and was ready for everything. All or Nothing was my motto!
New beginnings… a new acquaintance with a clean slate. A fresh start.
- I jumped into relationship after relationship (or situationship depending on how you looked at it) seeking companionship for my bounce back and loneliness.
The magic of beginnings … starting or resolving with a plan. And that was where I prepared for 2017.
- Going into 2017 my plan for dating was to be more strategic and purposeful. I wasn’t just going to arbitrarily date because “he is a nice guy.” Nope. I wanted an AMAZING man. I resolved that if I was going to date, I would date a man that made me love the woman I am when I am with or without him.
I had to begin embracing new challenges for myself. New roles. New discoveries about who I want to be in a relationship and how I wanted to be loved. And that was the start of my preparation.
In 2016 when I ushered in the new year, I was preparing myself for new beginnings. And this year, I was welcoming 2018 and growing what I began a year ago. And really watching everything that I wanted unfold before my eyes.
I look forward to sharing more about my growth from single-to-dating…especially with a small child in the balance.