Making the decision to become physically intimate with your partner comes with a list of questions and what-ifs when you are a dating (single) mom. “Are we ready for this next level?” “How does this change the relationship?” But the biggest one, without a doubt…. “Your place or mine?”
Surely, when you enjoy the comforts of dating without children involved, or even when you are married before kids, you probably had any ANYTIME, ANYWHERE…not now, but RIGHT NOW kind of attitude. But having kids changes the context of your intimacy.
You may find that you try to sneak in a quickie after the kids are loaded onto the bus and off to school. You may even try to send them to Grandma’s for the weekend just to have a little alone time. But what happens when the moment strikes you when the kids are AT HOME?
You know that moment when you’ve been playing footsie at dinner and you are counting down the minutes and seconds before the kids’ bedtime. And finally, just when your kids have reached that REM mode of sleep, you are ready to reach your own eye-rolling adventure.
Only….you are awakened by the sounds of little feet at your bedside?! How do you explain what “Mommy” and “Daddy” have been doing under the sheets? Check my perspective on being caught in the act and how to discuss this with your kids!
Sure this may be a smoother conversation when you married. But when you are the unmarried mom who has been dating a “Mr. [inserts name]” …. how do you explain what you are doing under the sheets when you are CAUGHT by your kiddo?
Being a dating (single) mom…. that’s a lot of “oh sh$%$@!” waiting to happen!
Truthfully, there are so many different layers that go into dating as a single mother. For sure, you have to be prepared to handle the unexpected… but until you are ready for that level of commitment (emotionally and physically) and until your child is comfortable with Mr. [inserts name] sleeping over….
…..AND the potential “oh sh$%$@!” moment when you forget to lock the door….
…. keep the rendezvous with your lover away from home.
At least for now.
This is not to say that it is indefinite, after all as a single mom you may not ALWAYS be able to have some alone time. But when you do get busy, with your little one at home…
LOCK THE DOOR.
AND KEEP IT DOWN.
And…if you get caught up in the moment and forget those things… just keep your night gown so you can easily jumped back into Mom mode and tuck your kid back into bed…without having your cookies out!
Moreover, you may have to explain at some point… that your special time with Mr. [inserts name] is grown-ups or adult time. And PRIVATE.
For any #singlemoms out there… How did or would you handle getting caught in the act?