“Isn’t there a danger that you’ll get so good at being single, so set in your ways, that you’ll miss out on the chance to be with somebody great?” ~ “How to be Single”
So, I felt that this pretty much sums up my new blogging life of me sharing about the fact that I’m single and coming “unhinged” in Singlesland for reasons that sometimes point to the obvious. In a nutshell, there are true moments when I fear that I’m going to become so accustomed to being single that I’m not going to know what it’s like to be with someone else. Or hell, I get to a point where I don’t even know if I really even want to be in a relationship to be honest.
Which brings me…here. Of course I never thought that I’d be in the “30-something never married” category, but here I am! I tend to think that I have a pretty good life with a lot to offer my man-to-be. And it sucks because I really am a good catch. I’m athletic, funny, ambitious, an outgoing homebody, affectionate, and easy to please. And did I mention I’m a kickass Mom?! Oh….And…sex…I LOVE IT. ALOT! Like REALLY! Sounds pretty dope, right? So then it is no coincidence that my singledom comes as a shock for me too. And apparently people have become so awe-struck because they seem to ask that dumb ass question after only a few minutes of conversation with me….you know the “Why are you single?” as if my own reality hasn’t explored that aspect of life before.
Now I’m sure there are many reasons for which my great and close friends can justify my relationship status. I can hear them now saying things like, “You’re single because you have picked the wrong guys,” or “You held on to relationships that should have ended months (shit even years) before they were finally over.” And I can say without a doubt that more explanations will become clearer on my journey of self-discovery. However, there is one rationale that I can definitely identify with at this time…and that is, “I am single because I choose to be single,” and I am not sure if I want to be anything else but single…
….. Or do I?
My unDENYing truth is that I have treated love as my job in more recent times. I have somehow managed to separate my love for love from my love life. I’m like The Wedding Planner and real-life Hitch helping others in their own walks of love while I enjoy the coldness of the other side of the bed…eh…on most nights. But as a Marriage and Family Counselor who coaches singles, dating couples, and married spouses, I am challenged by those who wonder why they should take my advice, if I can’t help myself.
Well…here’s a litle reality check, you don’t have to be an addict to counsel people with addictions. But what you do need to do is to have the experiences, methodologies, and proven practices that work and lead to the greatest success. Don’t believe me, look at the best coaches and analysts in sports. Not all of them have a ring.
UnDENYably, with my many disaster dates, jerk faces, and inconsistent situationships, I can certainly share with you the right and wrong ways to seek and maintain healthy and happy relationships. So follow me on my road down Singles Lane, as I share some stories and thoughts of me navigating being single, to dating, and hopefully balancing a relationship in my crazy/beautiful life using my OWN tips and advice.
Whatever my motivations, decisions, or dilemmas, I ask you to grab a seat, pull up, and hold on for the ride. And if you have any stories or thoughts to share about your history of singledom, or on mine, leave me a message below…or send them my way at .
Until next time, kisses to you and my UNDENIABLY Single Life!!