“Once you have children that’s who you are. There’s no way around that. That’s who I am. Your body switches off. I had no desire to date or anything.” ~ Charlize Theron~
Between balancing a hectic and busy business schedule, being inedited with tasks and travel, and running my kid to various sporting events and after-school activities, adding in a date night can seem arduous.
It’s hard enough keeping up with the snack schedule or finding my kid’s sock… or putting on GI Joe’s leg after Hulk pounds him to the ground to remembering to pick up Kids Bop 3227 when it releases…
…And NOW I am supposed to meet him for drinks? Ain’t nobody got time for that!
….So I thought.
The truth is, I knew I didn’t want to be single forever. Heck, there is still plenty of good in me that I know is destined for WIFE status. And damn sure there is MORE to me than being a baby mama! So why was I counting myself out?
There are a lot of reasons that I put out there and they probably aren’t too far from some of yours too….
“I don’t have time to go on a date because I have my son.”
“I don’t have anything to wear because I only have Mom jeans.”
“I haven’t been out in so long, I don’t even know what to say.”
“Ugh…he probably doesn’t want to really date a woman with a kid.”
No matter what the reasons… they panned out to be one thing: EXCUSES. Continue reading Playdates, Networking, & Date Nights…
“If he is going to lead in marriage, the he should lead the dating relationship.”
So I debated back-and-forth about how I really wanted to share this blog. There is always this BIG debate on if men of today are capable of leading women and their families. Moreover, this is a pressing topic amongst African American couples, quite frankly just men and women in general. Mostly, much of it comes at the projection of men in society… emasculinity being the primary. And as more and more women are taking charge and leading ranks in business, balancing family, and making money moves as proud single women, the question is often asked, “Are men capable of leading women?”
But that is not my issue. I firmly believe that men have been given the God-given role to be leaders in marriages and relationships. And I certainly believe that men are and have been capable of dong so. In fact, in EVERY relationship that I have experienced in my adult years…
…which have only been a few…
…don’t get it twisted…
…The man I was dating was LEADING me in the relationship.
Continue reading men always lead…
You can’t look online for more than 5 minutes without seeing a meme or a photo of a couple with the infamous #relationshipgoals underneath. And rightfully so, people are aspiring to have lasting, loving, and fulfilling relationships.
I’m no exception to the #relationshipgoals either. Right now, my 2018 Vision Board and Journal feature magazine clippings and images of my desired next steps or levels for my love life PLUS my plan of action to achieve them. And for the record…
….YES, FIANCEE TOPS my list….
And why wouldn’t it?! Trust and believe….I’m claiming it! Hell, I play for keeps. Continue reading relationship goals
So it’s my DM-adversary with my boyfriend this week! I should known something was up with this snow because that was literally how it went down last year too! A big ol’ pile of snow to keep us tied to the house with cabin fever… chatting it up in each other’s inbox. Eventually, I gave him my number and insisted that he “call me sometime” and soon we were engaged in hours of conversation that I honestly didn’t want to end.
But it’s funny how we connected (rather re-connected) through a string of messages in response to a post that I shared simply giving permission for anyone to DM something they have wanted to tell me.
The response was a simple blue heart which meant, “I want to ask you out.” My response, was a quick, “Well, if you ask the answer is ‘Yes!'”
And when I hit that send button, I wasn’t thinking, “Oh shit…what did I do?” or “Am I being too forward?” NOPE! I was thinking, “If this negro doesn’t ask me out this time, that’s it! No more second chances.” Continue reading Goes Down in the DM…FOR REAL!
“And suddenly you know…it’s time to start something new and trust the magic of beginnings.”
Well hello 2018! And hello to you again! I really have to stop treating you like this. It feels too much like one of my past relationships….
….On again-Off again…
…..Show up when I want some attention.
…..MY BAD. I’m Sorry.
But I have missed writing and sharing with you (and other bloggers).
Hate to say that it has been really busy… (<—again like what was said in my past relationships)… but it has been really busy. Hell, my busy-ness is one of the reasons why I stayed in the singles lane for a bit. But for real… I have been working my socks off over here in Virginia and now that I have had some time to rest my big head, I am looking forward to some magical beginnings in 2018!
So how did you usher in the new year? Were you boo’d up, boozed up, givin’ it up, or fed up?
Me…I welcomed my new year the way I started it…. alone on the couch watching Hallmark Christmas Movies. I added a box of tissues and a bottle of OJ this time around. Why…? Because I was sick and exhausted. My boyfriend…
…YES THERE IS STILL A BAE…
…was on the phone with me as we counted down the final seconds of 2017. After that I was out faster than the BC Powder I got the next morning.
But the feeling of welcoming 2018 was far more different than last year. Why? Because rolling into 2018 I have come full circle with celebrating my life as it’s happening… anew.
Continue reading trust the magic of beginnings
Over the last few weeks, I have been buried in developing and facilitating seminars and coaching programs to empower women in their personal, family, and relationship goals. And while it’s no excuse to leave you hanging, just know that I’m back with a purpose!
And that purpose brings me RIGHT here! To drop a nice clue bomb on the matter of dating a person who is NOT dating you. Yes, I said that correctly. I am going to share a little bit about how you may find yourself in a relationship BY YOURSELF.
Interestingly enough, there are many women out there who maintain months and sometimes years of situationships that do not lead to actual relationships. And before you quickly point the finger at the guy you were dating to say, “He did me wrong!” or “How could he do this to me?” to even “He’s such as an asshole…jerk…f*ckboy”…or insert whatever adjective to describe him, pick up a mirror because the problem in the whole situation was probably YOU!
Harsh much? Maybe. Continue reading It’s not him…it’s YOU!
Source: White Woman Speaks Out And Puts Black Women On Blast For Their Dysfunctional Behaviour!
The other day I was tagged in a Facebook discussion regarding a blog that was posted in September 2016. Of course, the blog addressed many issues, but most relevant is the view that black women are not having successful relationships with black men because of a black woman’s lack of appreciation for black men. Ultimately, this leads black men to date outside of their race.
Now, I will say a few things very briefly to the subject matter, but not the article in its entirety. I will start off by saying that much of this article and even the original “facebook post” reflect a reality with many black women and black families and relationships. Sadly, it is that reality that raises the question, “Are there any GOOD black men, women, and relationships out there?” Continue reading Are there any GOOD black men, women, and relationships out there?